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Heartless ([personal profile] heartlessinquisition) wrote in [community profile] paoputree2013-06-25 04:20 pm

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There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'

The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.

Welcome to Wonderland, not just anywhere in Wonderland though. Those familiar with Wonderland may recognize the abandoned table of the mad tea party, but those who aren't may still be enticed by the varying aromas of all the wonderful (and delicious) tea populating it in place of abandoned cups and tea sets from the usual occupants.

However, like anything else in Wonderland you should imbibe with caution. While the effects are a little more temporary than some things one might consume in Wonderland...

Well, not much can be done about the memories.

• Green tea: Makes the drinker wiser. Bear in mind that wise doesn't necessarily mean smart.

• Jasmine tea: Turns boys girly, turns girl girlier.

• Earl Grey tea: Drinkers of this tea can't tell anything but the truth.

• Lady Grey tea: Drinkers of this tea can't tell anything but the lies.

• Strawberry tea: Causes uncontrollable hiccups.

• Mint tea: Completely flip your personality. Good is bad, bad is good, etc.

• Cherry tea: Ever saw a blushing virgin right before being deflowered? The people that drink this tea will show you how it's done.

• Chai tea: The uncontrollable need dance, wherever you go!

• Oolong tea: The uncontrollable need to express everything in the form of a song! It might be a song you already know, or you might find you've got a hidden talent for lyrics!

• Chocolate tea: WARNING! Keep away from under aged children. After effects may include: horniness, uncontrollable lust, the need to take off clothes, a hoarse sexy voice, and sweaty skin. (For the underage it causes uncomfortable heat and cheesy pickup lines)

• Vanilla tea: Causes childish innocence, kindness, love of everything alive.

• Caramel tea: Have a little respect for your four-legged friends. Turns the drinker into an animal of the mun's choosing.

• Berry tea: Ever wondered what it was like to be the opposite sex? You didn't? Too bad! Turns boys to girls and vice versa, complete with all the appropriate parts.

• Rose tea: For the love of all that is good and shoujo, will the drinkers of this tea stop sparkling so melodramatically?

• English breakfast tea: Not only will the drinker be more arrogant, snobbish and better than you, but they will also voice it. Loudly. Narcissism is encouraged. So is slapping them back to their senses.


• Thyme tea: Suddenly your clothes don't seem to fit so well... adult drinkers of this tea will be de-aged to childhood. Child drinkers will be aged to adulthood.

• Darjeeling tea: Causes the drinker to suffer severe delusions. They might just start to think they're the Queen of England, or a tree, or any number of things. I suggest you take videos for posterity and blackmail.

• Black tea: Causes blindness.

• Chamomile tea: This tea will calm you down to the point of apathy and sloth. Don't bother leaving bed, it's not even worth it.

• Decaf tea: .. Sleep, who needs sleep?

• White tea: Grants X-ray vision.

• Irish Breakfast tea: Emphasis on the Irish. Enjoy your booze.

• Hong Kong-style milk tea: Suddenly speaking a different language altogether! Is that Klingon?

taken from here & here

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